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Sydney, NSW, Australia
Photographer. Writer. 45yo Indo-Fijian Australian. Glam Feminist. Coconuts.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Do You Comment For Comments?

Okay.  I'm curious.  This is a blogger only post.
Do you blog for other bloggers?  Do you blog for a wider non-blogger readership?
Do you blog for comments?  Do you comment for comments?
How do you feel about comments?  Receiving them?  Leaving them?
Bloggers who receive mega lots of comments, do you read them all?  Do you reciprocate them all??

Do you comment on blogs that you really don't have any interest in but you think/feel you should because "it's the done thing"?
Do you comment out of obligation? 


I realise these questions are uncomfortable, hell...they're making me hot under the collar (J)...and I really don't expect any answers but I am genuinely curious... I will explain in another post why...


READ ON AFTER THE JUMP!

For the record... I don't blog for comments but I don't "blog for myself" either.  I blog for readership.  I dress for myself.  To stand out.  To not fit in.  To create an invisibility cloak.  Ahhh...I have said I will explain this... next time...
I don't quite understand this "blogging for myself" caper but that doesn't make it wrong (in my eyes) just a strange way to say "I blog for recognition".. all bloggers blog for recognition otherwise what's the point?

...and I don't comment out of obligation and I don't [always] reciprocate and I don't comment on blogs that don't interest me but I also don't always leave comments on blogs that do interest me.  Usually due to a time constraint because unfortunately brevity is not my forte and I don't just leave comments, I tend to write essays but I'm learning to be succinct.

Long-time readers may remember that this blog started off with its comment section closed.  And over time the comments have been opened and closed again then reopened then closed again.  It's a drama.   My point was and is, that I don't comment for reciprocity.  But I do like the interaction even though I don't quite understand the need for it.

It seems to me that comments create a huge amount of pressure and a terrible guilt complex (that I have been guilty of feeling). 
I was told by a blogger acquaintance when I complained about the quid pro quo mentality of blogging, of indeed the world we live in, that this is the "done thing", that in order to get comments, you have to comment, that "nobody does anything for nothing"... that freaked me out.  Really?  Is that really who we are as a species? 

That's not who I am in the physical world.  How do I explain this?  The difference between doing something for gain and doing something for ulterior motive? 
I blog for gain but I comment for pleasure.  Not pressure.

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ps. I realise I am coming across as a rude, arrogant, cow but... I will live with that.  Mainly because I like cows.

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20 comments:

Tanvi said...

You already know my answer to ALL the above questions since we have already discussed it :) [Sorry if I sound like a Groupie here]

The first outfit is all kinds of fabulous. Love the color and the border at the bottom. Very boho-chic with that devi chain (!Right?) :)

♡ from © tanvii.com

La Dama said...

Hahaayyy, I love you!
I was thinking of posting about bloging for comments post. I adore you more now.
I am always fascinated by your attitude amor.
love that foto of you holding your collar. cute check hat and tights.
sadly, its true I think most people comment to receive comments ,but there are some bloggers that are genuinely interested in what others are wearing and how.also curios what goes on in our lives.

Vix said...

I love that picture of you feeling hot under the collar and I swear I have the identical Indian skirt in indigo which I wear on my travels.
I comment because I enjoy the interaction, even if a blogger isn't necessarily my cup of tea at first often I build up a good relationship and get to know and love them as much as the cool fabulous ones I adore from day one.
Yes, it kills me when I go away for the weekend and have 100 comments to respond to (minus the "follow me" ones which I generally ignore) but it's the way I am and I believe in treating people with kindness and respect. If it means setting the alarm an hour earlier then so be it.
I don't comment to get comments back but each and every one is appreciated and read and makes blogging the joy it has become.
I do have a life away from the computer, a job, a relationship and close friends and therefore don't bother with Twitter. x

Polka Princess said...

Hummmnnn.... I guess even I've answered all that (on Tanvi's post! ;))....but then, if I've said it once, I'll say it again......I comment whenever & wherever I WANT to......& not just coz someone has left a comment on my blog or I want someone to get back to my blog via my comment! Some of you fabulous & gorgeous ladies out there (and a few men too) genuinely interest me enough for me to share my thoughts & opinions with......& I'll continue doing so even if any of you NEVER get back to me, ever again! You guys inspire me....& when you read my words, I'll feel that my affection & love has reached you! :)

P.S.: You're working those headgear in such chic ways! Love!!

P.P.S.: "Mainly because I like cows"???? Ha ha ha......you so crack me up dear! :P

Elle Enchanted said...

I've exited out of many a blog post, good ones even, if I have nothing to add to the conversation. I don't feel the need to comment on every single outfit of a blogger, if I love them all! I like to spread the love when I have time to add intelligently or toot their horn a bit (because everyone likes that once in a while ;), especially if they know it's genuine!) I blog for me- and for others- I love thinking I can teach things to others and speak my mind and learn from others... I leave comments because I want to. I do visit my blog reader's blogs every now and then and leave so me love- but if I get a comment from a blogger who's blog I don't connect with and can't think of anything to say- I either find them on twitter if I can and thank them there- or I (sadly) let it go. It doesn't make me feel guilty though- I'd rather not pretend to be someone that I'm not. I love reading comments though, and when I have things to say I love leaving them too- it's a little conversation! I even read comment threads if I find a post really interesting. If I want to know what others think of what another blogger's written, I'll sit and read all 50 comments hahaha. I think the most important thing though is to not feel guilty for having a real life. I don't apologize anymore. oh and have I told you before I absolutely love your body jewelry (I forget the technical term!- it's so fierce.)

Penny Dreadful said...

I blog for readership the same as you, but I absolutely love gettng comments. Especially since so many bloggers have now become my real life friends, it feels like we all know exactly what is going on in our lives through comments. That said, I have been finding it very hard to keep up, and I do feel guilty that I don't leave comments on all the blogs that I read. It is nice for people to feel appreciated, but I just don't have the time. In fact yours is one of them! I don't often comment here, and it isn't because I don't read but because I struggle with finding the time already and if I made another blog friend it might all get too much ;) x

Basilia said...

I have the same circling curiosity about other bloggers. For me, I don't comment for a comment, I only comment if I genuinely like someones post or if something in their blog strikes my interest. Because no one likes a liar! lol

As for blogging, because my blog is like my baby, I like when I receive comments its just a little bit more encouraging and its nice to know ppl like your p.o.v or understand it. I definitely don't blog for other bloggers, I blog whatever inspires me because I think if you're blogging to get someone elses 'approval' or worship (just like blogging for comments or comment for a comment) it becomes more so like a task and a tedious job rather than a hobby that is just fun. I get really annoyed now when blogs I used to love have become so big that they blog about products they have to promote for their sponsors or what not. Kudos to them for becoming so successful but you can definitely see the change both good and bad in their blogs.

woo. think thats enough of an essay for you to read.
great work dusk :)

x BazP.s ZIPPORRA is bck on the 11th of july! See u then

Tashrin said...

First of all I blog for myself. I do not follow many trends that go on in the world and in my own way I wear whatever I want, write whatever I want to write. I have tried in the beginning unsuccessfully to follow others footsteps, but it got so suffocating that I almost felt like giving up blogging.

Comments are welcome, and I used to feel obligated that I have to respond to every single one. But it also became a source of stress. I know to some people its a courtesy issue, but now I only comment back on blogs I find really interesting and blogs I love already. I'd rather be honest and mean every single thing I say to the few people I say it to, rather than come up with false pleasantries for everyone, just because that's how its done.

I love receiving comments, but the way I see it is. If I love someone's post and have something to say, I'll comment regardless of whether they comment back or ignore my comment. Since I do not get offended by not being reciprocated on the comments I left, I don't feel bad about not reciprocating if I really don't feel the interest.

CATGIRL !! said...

i write to vent out btu make it a poitn to let it be interesting n not just about me , myself n my boring life..
secondly ..i comment when i want to..but i m a freakkkkk for followers...i just want more n more of them..n i reply to all comments... even if i just mention the name n say a thanks :-))


I write on relationships mostly as well as some funny stuff.
I hope u can be a follower if u like my blog? Don’t forget to comment please !!
The Emotional Lava
Best of Luck for ur blogging.

Shruti said...

I blog for myself. It makes me happy.. and it makes me more happy when my nearer and dearer people visit & tell me if they like it. Most of my readers are friends who are not even on blogger! so they tell me via fone or facebook. I am getting to know people from blogger community through mutual followers. My blog is not for business neither am I in some desperate need for publicity. I visit some really good blogs I like and comment on the posts that interest me. It doesn't really matter much if anyone comments back on my blog.

Shruti said...

I blog for myself. It makes me happy.. and it makes me more happy when my nearer and dearer people visit & tell me if they like it. Most of my readers are friends who are not even on blogger! so they tell me via fone or facebook. I am getting to know people from blogger community through mutual followers. My blog is not for business neither am I in some desperate need for publicity. I visit some really good blogs I like and comment on the posts that interest me. It doesn't really matter much if anyone comments back on my blog.

Leia said...

I only follow and regularly read blogs that I genuinely like.

However, a few times a week I visit all the bloggers who have left me comments and I leave comments on their blogs, too. It is time-consuming, boring, frustrating (when I have nothing to say, if the blog's layout makes it difficult to read/comment, etc.)... but I do it because I feel that if the blogger has taken the time to leave ME a comment, the very least I can do is find out who the blogger is, read a couple of her posts, and leave a comment to say I've been there. I feel incredibly guilty if I don't do so. And there are so many bloggers who thank me for encouraging them when they were just starting out, for leaving them comments when nobody else would... so I don't think I could stop doing that any time soon. It just feels rude of me to do so! Of course, I pay more attention to the bloggers that leave me detailed, interesting, relevant comments, and just skim over the 'nice shoes' type commenters.

However, I don't blog or comment for comments. I blog because it's nice for me to have a sort of online journal of what I've been wearing/cooking/thinking, and it has actually served useful when I want to look something up. I also do love the interaction - much of which is done through comments but it also exists via twitter, facebook, e-mail, etc.

Leia

meelusha said...

hahahaha, you are o cool! if we would not be miles, onea sea and one ocean apart i would definitely want to have at least a cup of coffee with you and discuss about life and cows :) you're both smart and beutiful and that's a pretty rare combination!

ok, as to your questions :) I do not blog for myself to read or watch, for that I have many mirrors at home and thousands of photos on my laptop. I blog because I want to share certain things with the world, mostly my taste in fashion, big things are to be kept private and there are things I never will want to share online anyhow.
Why do I want to share the stuff I share on my blog, why do I post regularly?...Well because when you are passionate about something you just want to scream it out loud, because I have a certain oppinion of myself, but care about how others see me as well, it helps me grow, I blog because I like receiving recognition and also constructive feedback about what I do with a small part of my life, I blog because it honors me to be an inspiration to people, even if it's just one per month or year or whenever, I blog because this will be part of my heritage to my kids, something to learn about their mommy :)

And in regards to commenting for comments...hmmm...I do not comment to get comments, I comment because I want to share my honest oppionion and/ or appreciation for other ppls work and because I want to market myself as a blogger (it makes ppl think kind of like if you like my thoughts/ my comments, we might have something in common, you might like my blog, you might want to check it out). Commenting is indeed a way to get attention,I think it's ok to admit it and it's ok to do it as longs as it's not verbal "prostitution" . By that I mean, that I am always honest about what I comment, otherwise I just prefer to shut it!

I like it when I get meaningful comments, wheer I feel there's honesty and a true interest behing what I do, these are anyhow the bloggers I become more attached to, but I try to respond to everyone when I find the time, it's like saying hello back :)

it's anyhow important, no matter how you do and why and how much you comment or not, to keep it real and not loose touch with the real world :) most of this blogospgere is anyhow as fake as it can get and one has to keep their eyes open and not live away in virtuality!

Xoxo,
Meelusha

P.S> I think I will also blog about this topic soon and link my post to your blog, it's for sure something on all our minds :)

annimal said...

You're not rude at all, just honest! I love to get comments, and I comment to show my appreciation for the conversation the blogger has initiated and what is being shared. It's like I know what you mean, or how you feel, or thanks for letting me in on something!! But it is time consuming and not always possible to keep up with so many great blogs! This is so intriguing, I liked reading the other responses to your query too!

Terri said...

No comment. ;)

Karishma said...

Aloha lovely!
Fistly that pink skirt is pure list. I've been thinking about getting myself a sari inspired skirt. Perhaps raiding mum's closet.

As for the comments go, the truth is. I love comments. The genuine ones. Because then I feel like somebody is reading my blog. But I do not blog for the comments. And despise comments that are left behind for the sake of it.

As for my commenting sprees go, I generally browse through blogs while at work. There is never any time to comment. But if I generally like somethign I make sure I come back home and leave a comment.

There are about a handful of bloggers that I have been visiting regularly ever since I started blogging. (You being one of them) And when I check their blogs after a long time I make sure I leave a comment because it's just my way of keeping in touch. It's always nice to hear from the regulars.

Well I hope I cleared some of the queries.

Hugs and kisses!
Karishma

siggysparkle said...

Just commented (haha) on Tanvi's blog about this before - I blog for myself with the awareness that there are readers there. BUT, I don't feel limited by that.

I don't get a huge amount of comments as I've just started up blogging again so I do reply to each one. I may not necessarily go to their blogs and reciprocate that especially if I don't feel like I have much value to add, but I do appreciate every single one that is left.

Comments, I feel are great if they add to the conversation, but not the be all and end all of blogging.

- Tessa said...

I rarely comment - I must be very motivated by what I read or see to do so. I consider myself a ‘professional lurker’. :P I know that my reading is seen (though stats) and I think that is usually enough. I would LIKE to comment more but I do not have enough time/make enough time in my life for it (I work whacko hours, have a husband and a life, etc. etc.). Commenting more would make me miss out on visiting too many other lovely bloggers. I am planning to get my own blog going (some day) and I also plan to be happy just knowing I have readers/lookers/lurkers (hopefully). BTW I have been lurking on your blog for years and think you are amazingly beautiful on the outside and even more so on the inside.

Arianna said...

I do blog for recognition, but I also blog for myself. In other words if you don't like me, then I don't care. If I don't have a huge readership, that's fine...because I blog to express something...and yes I want that to be accepted by someone. But a BIG part of blogging for myself is getting to know other bloggers. So I do blog for bloggers too.

It interest me that you blog for readership...because to me, vast readership is not important to me, but a few people who support me is enough. But I do love seeing my stats rise...

Why do you feel guilty? If you want to comment for pleasure, then just leave it at that. There is no point in worrying about what someone else may expect from you, unless it is truly someone you care about.

makeupandjeans.com said...

bleh...I hope you know all these Arianna comments are me. Stupid old blogger account.